Sunday, October 23, 2011

I Want To Know

I want to know when will it ever feel like my kids are not kids anymore.  When will I stop feeling the need to be sure they have balanced meals, safe vehicles to drive, or enough money?

I have been thinking about something that happened at a friends mom's home last year.  We were standing outside in the mom's driveway and she came out and told my friend that he needed to be sure everyone was out of the driveway because they were leaving and needed to back out.  My friend is my age.  Old enough to know that when a car starts moving in your direction that he needs to move.  And I am sure I am old enough to know that too.  Yet, his mom felt the need to give her motherly advice like we were all five years old or something.  He muttered something under his breath and moved onto the grass and made a sarcastic comment to us that we needed to move too. It was humorous.  But, I am sure, somewhat humiliating for him. I thought the same way he did.  That his mother was being quite ridiculous.  She might has well brought him a juice box too.

Today, I am feeling like his mom.  It seems like letting go will never come.  Do I have to fully let go? If I do, will I stop being a mom?  I have been a mom my entire adult life.  How can I stop being a mom?

 But, do I really want to be that kind of mom?  Can I help myself from being that kind of mom? And if I am not that kind of mom anymore, am I really being me?   Or maybe I am just being ridiculous.  Oh brother.  Someone pass me a juice box please.

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